brinepools:

reasons I can relate to a possum:

-tired & unkempt
-emotions ranging from “displeased” to “existential scream”
-no work ethic
-lies around looking dead when overwhelmed
-will eat trash & live amongst trash if left to own devices
-sometimes you feel bad and feed it a sandwich

sterekmess:

sterekmess:

how fucked up is it that so many men associate periods and menstruation with women “acting shitty” towards them because of pms,when women are literally the ones who go through actual pain because of the whole thing? 

I mean, dude, this is so not about you. grow up and get over yourself.

image

shhhhh dickwad, I’m a guy

tarsusfour:

raise your hands if you have jealousy issues and although u try your hardest not to be like ‘i liked the thing first’ you still get mad upset sometimes

elicrotch:

v0ciferation:

checks grades

*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this

well if you close your eyes

serkets:

itsgayerinenochian:

creepyjirachi:

"you can’t be just friends with people of the gender you’re attracted to"
myth actually true. i, as a bisexual, can confirm that i have no friends.

pansexuals spend their lives in solitude, with only rocks for company

meanwhile asexuals are friends with everyone. literally every single person on the planet. i do not know how i remember so many names

merbearedie:

I have to pee so bad but moving in my current situation is a felony

image

plz send help

julianocasabranca:

FUN STORY: my grandma lives in a city that was currently taken over by drug dealers and gangs and it’s now divided in two and my grandma is the oNLY CITIZEN IN THE WHOLE CITY who can go walking freely through both sides of the town because she used to do community work and feed the poor kids and those gang members were all fed by her so they let her come and go as she wants SO WHAT WE LEARN TODAY IS TO BE FUCKING NICE TO KIDS BC U MIGHT BE DEALING W FUTURE GANG MEMBERS

me: are there any spirits listening
ouija: yes are you alone
me: yes
ouija: haha nice whats up :P
me: trying to contact my dead grandmother
ouija: cool cool so what would u be doing if i was alive right now lol

watchtheskytonight:

little-bit-fancy:

Today I came across a wi-fi connection called ‘Hogwarts’
I decided I would hack my first wi-fi
I put in ‘alohomora’ 
It worked 

bless you

(Source: johngreenisokay)

celestial-time-sorceress:

I heard some guy say that abortion was wrong, and I was just like, “It’s not your uterus.” 

and he was like, “What’s a uterus?” 

(Source: mistress-laufeyson)